White Cookies
by irmaida
Summary: "…he loves her too much to do any of these things, and he sees that letting her go is what will truly make her happy. But what about him?" The baker's thoughts as the love of his life says goodbye to him. Written for Ky-lassassin in Caesar Palace's fic exchange.


Today is the day.

Today is the day he's going to propose. He'll give her a bag of white cookies, her favorite, and he'll ask her to marry him. Then a few days later, they'll go over to the Justice Building and sign the papers. They've been dating for a while now, and he knows for a fact that her parents will support the marriage. She'll look beautiful in a white dress. They'll eat white cake together and have a toasting. It's time for his new life to begin.

That is, if she says yes.

But of course she'll say yes. They've been good friends for years. She's of marriageable age, and his entire family absolutely dotes on her. She'll be a very welcome addition to the family. More than that, he loves her. It'll be perfect. And what an amazing mother she'll make. He wonders if their children will inherit her azure blue eyes and sunflower gold hair…

The bell jingles, snapping him out of his fantasy.

Over the years, he's learned to interpret the jingling of the bell. If it's a confident customer with lots of money, the door will be thrown open, and the bell will be loud. If it's a shy child going to the bakery for the first time, the door will tentatively creak open, and the bell will be quiet. Most people open the door normally, and the bell jingles merrily. This time, the bell is rather quiet, and the door seems to be opening tentatively.

So Adam Mellark lifts his head, expecting to find a young child wanting to buy cookies, and finds himself looking at the woman of his dreams, Annabel Maycreek (soon to be Mellark, he _hopes_) instead. She's slightly flushed and looks nervous, wringing her fingers and avoiding his eyes. Automatically he's confused, because usually when she opens the door, the bell jingles merrily.

"We need to talk," says Annabel.

Well, at least she's here. He's always glad to see her. He puts away the dough he's been kneading and smiles. "That's just what I was going to say. But you first."

Annabel doesn't speak for a while, apparently collecting her thoughts. She continues to avoid his eyes, wringing her fingers. As he waits, he tries to figure out how he'll propose to her. He's planned to propose today, but he hasn't actually planned the proposal. He's incredibly nervous, just like Annabel is.

_Just like Annabel is._

It hits him that Annabel might actually want to propose to _him_. That would explain the nervousness, the flushed cheeks, the wringing fingers, the tentative bell, the avoidance of his eyes… He feels his heartbeat quicken. Yes! Of course he'll say yes. He's loved her for as long as he can remember.

"Adam…" Annabel finally says. "These years dating you, they've been fun. But I… just don't think… I want to… I think we should…" She bites her lip, unable to figure out how she should approach the situation. She had carefully planned a speech before she'd entered, but she can't remember a single word of it.

_Say it! _he begs inside his head. _Say it!_ Under the counter, he reaches for the bag of white cookies he's been saving for her.

She takes a deep breath and wipes her sweaty palms on her dress. He waits, hands clutching the cookies.

She gets the words out in a rush. "Adam, I want you to know that I love you, but you're holding me down."

Confusion is what hits him first. This doesn't sound like a proposal. He forces her to look him in the eye, and he doesn't see nervousness mixed with love, like he was expecting. Instead, he only sees embarrassment, pain, and pity.

Pity?

"This isn't what I want. I thought I wanted this, but this isn't it. I thought I loved you, when I first started dating you, and… and, I mean, I _do_… You're very dear to me, you're a_great _guy and an amazing friend, but…"

Now he's starting to understand.

"And I just think it would be best if we… stopped seeing each other. I'm sorry," she finishes.

She's breaking up with him.

A memory fills his head, a memory of a clear bright spring day, around two months ago. He and Annabel had been walking along, hand in hand, when Annabel had heard a beautiful voice. The voice was singing, and she was absolutely captivated. She followed the voice all the way to its source, a man from the Seam. He had a delicate black and white mockingjay on his shoulder, and he was singing a love song.

"It's because of him, isn't it?" he finally manages to say. He doesn't splutter or sound angry and accusatory. Instead he says it in a soft voice, as if it is a fact.

She doesn't need to ask who he's talking about. She knows, and she nods. "I'm sorry, Adam," she says again, looking down at her shoes.

He stands there for a while, unable to register what has just happened. His brothers, in this position, would probably fight and get possessive and make threats to strangle the other man. But he loves her too much to do any of these things, and he sees that letting her go is what will _truly _make her happy. But what about him? He wants to tell her how much this is hurting him. He wants to tell her that he still loves her, has always loved her, _will _always love her, and make her see that he is the right one for her. He wants to tell her this is _not _okay. Not. Okay.

But he sees that if he says this, it will only make things more difficult for her.

So he lies for her, only her, and says, "That's fine." It's hard to get the words out, but he has to. "C-completely fine."

Annabel breathes out a huge sigh of relief. "Thank you, Adam. I knew you'd understand." She smiles wide, a beautiful smile that's breaking his heart. Then she pauses. "Now, what were you about to say earlier?"

It's hard to get the words out, but he has to. So he puts on a fake smile and says, "J-just that I thought it'd be best if we would stop seeing each other too."

She nods, the smile widening. "You understand, right? We're just not meant for each other, not in _that _way. I knew you felt that way too." She looks outside. "Well, I should go now. Thanks for understanding."

He smiles feebly. "If you ever need me, you know where to find me," he says, his only attempt to change her mind.

"I know," she says. And she's so giddy with relief she misses the pleading notes in his voice.

The bell jingles, and Annabel Maycreek (soon to be Everdeen, he _knows_) leaves the bakery.


End file.
